Off the hook...I'm so fucked up

Those are the words of everybody's favorite poker personality, Mike "The Mouth" Matusow as he draped his arm of my shoulders in a very uncomfortable "man-hug". I will agree with him on both counts, but in different terms. The Full Tilt party was unreal. Truly, a sick sick gathering of the poker community. And yes, Mike was sooooo fucked up. I know he seems like a total jackass on tv, but in real life he is just as big a jackass. I'm placing the over/under for his next substance abuse relapse at 6 months.
Anyway, when I got in I went straight to the MGM and checked in, changed shirts (didn't want to rank the place up with my B.O.) and headed straight over to the bell desk at Caesar's. Of course, when I arrived there were no tickets for me and my name wasn't on the list...ahh what fun. After hanging out in the area just outside of Pure, I was finally able to find a person cool enough to take 2 minutes and walk in to find Gavin. Roughly ten minutes later a half in the bag Gavin Smith rolled out and everything was good. Well, everything was good for me, not so much for Freddy Deeb. He was allowed to come in, but he wanted to bring his 17 (yes...17) guests into the party. This wasn't happening and then I got to watch him rail on Gavin before we walked inside. Gavin was a very good guy, although well on his way to being so loaded he couldn't remember my name, and was a great host. He introduced me to everyone and hooked me up in the VIP section of the VIP party...although I am confident there was another even more VIP area far away from the masses. I ended up meeting all manner of poker and other B list celebs, including Chris Ferguson (who said he didn't know Eddie Franco), Gus Hansen, The Mouth, Tex Barch (3rd place finisher in last years main event), Boston Rob from Survivor, Clownie Gowen, Daniel Negraneu, David Singer, Shannon Elizabeth, among others. Oddly, I ended up talking to Nicole Sullivan who was on MadTv for several years. In one of those ironic moments that you couldn't make up, we were drunkenly discussing how Reality TV is crushing entertainers with actual talent when Jose Canseco (of baseball, roid, and Surreal Life Reality TV fame) walked up next to us and started laying down the cheeeeezzziest rap on the bartender (who might have been the most beautiful woman in the whole place). Point made...

Today, I moved over the Monte Carlo, where I will be based for the duration. Nothing special, but plenty good enough. I went down and signed my agreement with PokerStars and picked up my bad o' schwag, which inludes several really natty items that I shan't be wearing...I'm not too into the baseball jersey with naugahide bomber jacket look.
Next up is heading over the Bellagio to play in a sattelite for the 1k Belaggio Cup II event tonight or tomorrow.